Origins

I have a black book, a moleskine. Previous to that I wrote in mead school note books. In my Moleskine, I write all my little private thoughts that I hoped could some day help me or someone understand what happened. Well things are changing for me or at least I'm attempting to make them change. Like many, my life has gone sideways. In 2000, I was a pretty successful at a 2 billion dollar public company.  I fought my way up to VP in 6 years and then something happened which I'm not sure. I leveled off.  Later I was layed-off. Fair enough I was happy it happened, so I could pursue a venture of my own. So, I fell into a Partners idea.  It grew but fizzled.  Learned about bad partnerships.  Learned a little more about myself.  Joined up with another software company with 2 points and but the founder ran it out of cash, I stopped caring and was pushed out. Now again, I'm stuck in the middle at another struggling software company, which all lays the groundwork for my title.  I have to say my life is a series of moderate successes and quiet failures. 
I have been excessively blessed with humbling in the last 6 years to the point it rocked my confidence.  And at the beginning of this year, I ended up in the ER with what was at the time was diagnosed as a TIA,  Later it was undiagnosed to a ocular migraine, but the mental impact was set.   Where the hell was a I headed?  Why the hell did I let myself get to this point?  Simply put, this blog is about my personal struggle to blaze a new path.